https://wheellove.ca Lessons in life, love and wheelies Wed, 06 Feb 2019 23:39:54 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.0.3 https://wheellove.ca/10-things-we-learned-from-dating-someone-in-a-wheelchair/#comment-13997 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 23:39:54 +0000 https://wheellove.ca/?p=314#comment-13997 Hey Lissette! This list was referring to what we have learned from our men who are in wheelchairs, that’s why we talked about the man getting the UTI! ]]> https://wheellove.ca/10-things-we-learned-from-dating-someone-in-a-wheelchair/#comment-13978 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 01:11:19 +0000 https://wheellove.ca/?p=314#comment-13978 Hi Alisa,
My names Steve and I’m a T8 complete Paraplegic. I sustained my injury 18 years ago. Due to a motorcycle accident. I have no sensation below my rib cage. In regards to having sex and pleasing your lady. There’s a few ways that I have learned through the years. One big thing was to accept the fact, that I could no longer get a “Erection” to have intercourse. My pleasure now is making sure my partner is totally pleased. Which can be done with some intimate kissing, touching and toys if needed. I have much more to share. I don’t want to sound conceited. I’ve been told by my able bodied women. That it was a amazing experience. Wow..that’s bad.
Alisa, don’t lose hope. It takes awhile to figure things out. Especially, when your Fiancé is a new injury, BTW…I stand corrected. For the first 3 years after my injury. My penis would get a full erection after some stimulation. By my partner. However, I couldn’t feel the sensation while we were having sex. I got the enjoyment of the visual. With her on top obviously because of my paralysis. We would use my wheelchair as well. For her to sit on my lap. Ok, I think I jabbered enough. Please feel free to ask me any questions that you or your Fiancé might have. Good luck and God Bless you both. ]]> https://wheellove.ca/10-things-we-learned-from-dating-someone-in-a-wheelchair/#comment-13958 Mon, 04 Feb 2019 05:52:13 +0000 https://wheellove.ca/?p=314#comment-13958 Great list. The one thing I don’t get is why does the part of UTI’s reffers to men? Us women get UTI’s too and they’re no fun for us either. I’m going though one now so I know exactly how it feels. It’s worse than PMS. ]]> https://wheellove.ca/10-things-we-learned-from-dating-someone-in-a-wheelchair/#comment-13843 Tue, 29 Jan 2019 15:25:34 +0000 https://wheellove.ca/?p=314#comment-13843 A very accurate list! Said with honesty and humour as always. One thing I would add that comes as part of building a relationship with a wheelchair user is talk about the intimate side of your relationship before anything happens! Being spontaneous isn’t always practical and ‘traditional’ ways of being intimate might not be possible. Every paraplegic or tetra(quadra)plegic is different. And it saves confusing and embarrassing misunderstandings. Lpve your posts. Keep up the good work! ]]> https://wheellove.ca/the-day-i-realized-im-not-superwoman/#comment-13827 Tue, 29 Jan 2019 01:10:00 +0000 https://wheellove.ca/?p=961#comment-13827 I am a SCI spouse also to a C-6 Quadriplegic. Many days are difficult. We have been married 26 years prior to his accident. He weighs 300 labs so he can only be transferred by hoyer lift. No hand function.
I still work full time for insurance. We have to pay for caregivers out of pocket. 2 children. One in college one in middle school.
A lot of days with little hope sometimes .
His place of employment did not help him with adaptive equipment so he pretty much just had to retire early.
Now he sits in his wheelchair and basically asks for stuff and watches tv. ]]> https://wheellove.ca/the-day-i-realized-im-not-superwoman/#comment-13786 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 10:38:37 +0000 https://wheellove.ca/?p=961#comment-13786 As a result, I felt even worse because of these thoughts... It's sometimes really a struggle of feelings, but honestly, I wouldn't change a thing. I love him with all my heart, and fortunately he understands the struggle as well. Thanks for sharing your story Sam! And you are a superwoman, definitely for Shawn and your little boy!]]> I had this a couple of weeks ago. I’m still recovering from a burn-out, and moved in with my SCI-love (thé love of my life) in October. But there were moments when I just couldn’t go to the kitchen and make dinner, and I hated it… I felt like I was letting him down, that he was counting on my support. At the same time I was angry at his wheelchair, I hated it, I wanted that HE could take care of ME 😐 As a result, I felt even worse because of these thoughts… It’s sometimes really a struggle of feelings, but honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love him with all my heart, and fortunately he understands the struggle as well.
Thanks for sharing your story Sam! And you are a superwoman, definitely for Shawn and your little boy! ]]> https://wheellove.ca/the-day-i-realized-im-not-superwoman/#comment-13777 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 21:35:37 +0000 https://wheellove.ca/?p=961#comment-13777 You are all that you need to be. There is only so much that anyone can do without feeling inadequate at the best of times. I do not have a spouse with a disability but I do have a child. Thank the stars that he is the greatest help for me (he’s now almost 21) and I feel torn between wanting him to grow up and be independent but also want him to stay with me for many years. I am the one with the disability and there are sooo many things I can’t physically do yet really want to. One of the hardest was being a single parent to a child who could out run me way to soon. Through understanding and patience, your child will grow up to be a big helper (if he isn’t already lol) and it will make those impossible days feel a little easier. Superheros come in all forms and you my dear, are a superhero to those around you. You’ve got this. ]]> https://wheellove.ca/the-day-i-realized-im-not-superwoman/#comment-13775 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 16:39:41 +0000 https://wheellove.ca/?p=961#comment-13775 Really well written, Sam ! We too struggle with all of these things and still continue to take on more projects. I’ve sometimes wondered if there will ever be a time that I, as the ‘sherpa’ (my loving nickname for myself) will rest easily or be taken care of in the same way. I often dream of having our own assistant – one that can do all those heavy things especially. And if we will ever get past the hump of just making ends meet because one of us can’t work a normal job. Hell ! being over the ‘hill’ makes me wonder how much longer my own career will last to support us ! But one thing is for certain – when your heart shines so bright because of the person with the disability and what they CAN do and DO do for you, it doesn’t really matter that (we) have to make an extra effort. It proves the saying “we are not all created equally” and therefore, yes, some of us will have to always give a little more in some ways, but it comes back in other ways that we sometimes, in moments of exhaustion, forget how much we value. Keep on doing what you do, Sam ! You are raising a beautiful family filled with love ! ]]> https://wheellove.ca/the-day-i-realized-im-not-superwoman/#comment-13774 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 14:58:43 +0000 https://wheellove.ca/?p=961#comment-13774 Sam. This was amazing. I feel like you are writing my story here. I went through this exact thing last fall while we were renovating the basement. I love my sci guy but his pride spills over to including my body and time too. The “we can do it” sometimes absolutely means “you can do it”and quite frankly even though I also know what I signed up for, it’s wasn’t apparent that would include being voluntold for some jobs. Its OK to ask for help, and sometimes moving past the pride is necesssary. Thank you for seeing me. I see you right back! Miss you two. ]]>